I’m not a very religious person, but I do believe that I have accomplishments to fulfill in my life. And in order to fulfill them I need to learn to recognize and follow certain signs that are trying to guide me down my path. Usually signs to me are very subtle hints in a day and I’m always worried that I’m not paying enough attention and will miss them. But today was not one of those subtle days. Let me tell you about it…

I woke up this morning from a terrible dream with my heart beating extremely fast and my head throbbing in pain as well. I groaned in frustration wishing the morning would not have started out so badly and rolled out of bed to start my day. I ate a bowl of cereal and got ready for work, but ended up running a bit late so I took a cab into work. On the way into the building I gave a homeless woman my banana while actually thinking it might just help me have a better day! I should have known better when I turned what should have been a kind gesture into something completely selfish.

First thing I got the news that I had been put on target. My week has been extremely crappy and so quota was set to get 4 sponsors today and 4 tomorrow – nothing extreme, very easy to do. But now my mind is more focused on the numbers instead of just going out to do my job and my attitude goes from positive to negative and any confidence in myself I had is gone.

All through the morning I’m going around like the energizer bunny from one person to the next without any truly interested people. I start getting discouraged and it’s only been an hour and 1/2 of work. My mind begins racing about my frustrations at my inconsistencies at work as well as non-work related issues like how lonely I am sometimes, how much I miss my family and friends at home, how I never truly feel like I fit in, how I can’t ever seem to figure out what it is I truly want with my life… and before I know it I’m completely overwhelmed. I actually break down and cry deciding that I just need to leave Chicago and go home before the summer. My team leader comes over and gives me a pep talk that makes me feel a little better, but I’m still overwhelmed and also worry that she probably thinks I’m bi-polar because this is not the first time I’ve cried in front of her. I get one sponsor after lunch and feel a bit better, but the day ends and I still have just one.

I worry about tomorrow and leave the office with my head throbbing almost as hard as in the morning. On the way down the elevator stops at the 14th floor and a nice woman joins me. I ask her what’s on the 14th floor and she asks me what floor I’m from. I tell her the 16th and she asks what I do. As we exit into the lobby I explain that I’m a fundraiser and as I’m signing out I tell her that we fund raise for Save the Children. Out of nowhere comes a woman’s voice… “Let me shake your hand.” I look up to see she’s talking to me. I smile and shake her hand. She explains that she’s a sponsor with World Vision (another great children’s charity) and we talk for a minute or two about poverty and how rewarding sponsorship is. She thanks me again saying she knows what we do is much harder work than it seems and I thank *her* for the much needed encouragement.

On my bus ride home I continue reading my book “Not For Sale” (a book about modern day slavery and human trafficking) and the stories break my heart. Many stories are of young girls being sold to sex bars – at times by their own families! – as well as horror stories of children as young as 4 working in rock quarries and rice mills. This all happening in years as recent as 2006! I decide I’m not emotionally stable enough to continue reading on the bus and so I put my book back in my purse. As I sit there quietly thinking about my day I overhear 2 women talking about a triathlon and work, but then out of the blue one of them brings up World Vision and they begin talking about possibly sponsoring some children. I didn’t butt into their conversation, but I smiled to myself knowing that there’s no way hearing their conversation was a coincidence.

I really do feel like those were signs to keep me going. I still don’t know if I’ll stay through the summer, but I won’t be leaving this weekend like I had wanted to earlier in the day. I guess what will come, will come, and the more I remember that the better off I’ll be.