I’m back home, but now it feels different. Everyone keeps asking me if I’m excited/glad/happy to be home. I put on a smile and nod and that seems to be a good enough acknowledgement that I am. Only… I’m not? My stomach tightens in twinge of guilt each time I lie about it and I’m still not sure what it all means. I am happy to see my family and friends again, but part of me feels like I don’t have a home right now. And that leaves me feeling a bit confused as to what and where my future will be.

For now though, I’ve got to try and take it one step at a time – something I’m still learning to do well. No regrets of the past, no meticulous planning of the future. Today – that is the focus. And today it’s supposed to storm again, so it’s officially a day of decorating & organizing for me, a task I neglected last week. Speaking of decorating, there are two phrases that have been my mantras as of late that I want to incorporate into a graphic design type wall art soon. Give up all hopes for a perfect past and Planning for the future is escapism. It would be a nice reminder every single day to not get too caught up in my daydreams of a better past/future.

Birthday Goal Update: 14 days until I’m 24 and still no concrete decision on where my birthday gift will land me. I’ll keep you informed.