I had my first (and so far only) lucid dream just before Halloween. For those unsure, a lucid dream is one where you have full clarity of the fact that you are dreaming. I was standing on the deck of a cruise ship admiring the night sky when I heard a familiar voice call to me. I turned around and there was an old friend I hadn’t seen in quite a while. In my excitement I lunged at him pulling him into the tightest hug. He hugged me back and in that moment I thought to myself, “What a wonderful dream this is.” As we pulled apart I told him how great it was to see him and that I had missed him. He agreed and again I thought to myself, “I wish this weren’t a dream.” I think the consciousness of knowing I was dreaming startled me awake and that was it. A simple lucid dream. Or was it?

Here I am 4 months later and in the span of one month two seemingly coincidental things have happened. 1. I’m in the final stages of preparing to leave for my new cruise ship job. And 2. I ran into that very friend over Christmas and have recently been catching up with him through e-mail. And while I know many will brush this off as an odd coincidence I don’t see it as a coincidence at all. I do believe the world is a mysterious place and as hokey as it probably sounds I think these two events happened to bring me a little clarity on things in my life.

As I noted in my previous entry last week I was having some doubts and fears about decisions I’d made. I’m happy to say with some time this week to mull things over I am again feeling content with the direction I’m heading. I’m also very much looking forward to the unknown. One step at a time is all it takes and that’s something I must continue to remind myself. I find it amusing and delightful that the universe has this unusual way of putting us into situations that challenge us and let us grow. In this past month I really feel like I’ve grown a bit less selfish. I’ve grown to accept that I can give my love to others on many different levels. It doesn’t have to be all full throttle or nothing. If I make the most of my time with friends and family then my love will be accepted with open arms just as I accept the many different kinds of love into my life.

These realizations, epiphanies and pure logic have probably always been inside of me, but I think I’m only just now beginning to understand myself. And can I just say it’s always such a relief to trust myself, my instincts. Why on earth don’t I do this more often?