I can’t sit still. Butterflies swarm in my stomach that’s tied in knots. My heart is beating faster. I feel like twirling in circles and yet the next moment I want to crawl under my bedsheets and not come out. Such is the the fear and desire of the unknown. It’s the same feeling I get before going out on a date with someone I’m really into.

Will he like me? Will I like him? Will he think I’m dull/ignorant/weird? (or whatever insecurity I’m suffering from at the moment) Am I anticipating too much? Are my hopes too high? Will I be disappointed? Will it be better than I could imagine?…… Does my breath smell?

Similar questions are running laps in my head as I sit awake at 4 a.m. with just 26 days until I leave the comforts of my home. In the span of a minute I can go from complete giddyness (wanting to throw together all my things and hop on that plane right now) to a figety mess (wanting to curl into a ball from worrying about how I’m ever going to survive on my limited funds and tiny fragments of foriegn language.) and it’s so nerve wracking it’s a wonder I’ve got any sleep these past few days. But, if I’ve learned anything from those first dates it’s this: Everything will be all right. Things might not have happened the way I wanted them to, but in the end things turn out ok.